


Second's Not the Same

by milehighziam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst!!!!, Blowjobs, Filmed Sex, Hookups, M/M, Riding, Top!Liam, bottom!Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 04:30:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13651464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milehighziam/pseuds/milehighziam
Summary: “I don’t think we should do this,” Zayn says in a quiet whisper, his heart beating all too slowly but loudly in his chest.“I think we should,” Liam says, his hands gripping Zayn’s waist, pulling him against his body.Zayn’s hands are curled against Liam’s bare chest, and licks his lips in anticipation and lust.“This is a bad idea,” Zayn whispers, trying to convince himself.“Mmm that it is,” Liam says, a stupid smirk on his lips.orZayn's been in love with Liam for as long as he can remember. They casually hookup every time Liam's in town, the last time being over 5 months ago when Zayn ends the affair because of all too strange circumstances, baby and all. Except now, Liam's back and he finds the Key Card to Liam's room in his hands, tempted to start it all again.





	Second's Not the Same

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! First off I want to say thank you to all the lovely feedback and love I've received on my previous fics. I love you all and thank you. Every comment and kudos encourages me to keep writing, so thank you. 
> 
> Now on to the fic. I've been obsessed with [Is There Somewhere by Halsey](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=686SmDtBOu8) for a long time, and i fell even more in love when I saw her perform it in November. The lyrics are subtly heartbreaking in where they know they shouldn't be in whatever affair is going on, but they can't give the other person. So I wrote about it, after a long time thinking about it.
> 
> I also was slightly inspired by [ from his bed and mirrored ceilings. All i could think was Liam filming some very dirty things from the same position lol which inspired a certain scene. Title is from the song above mentioned.](https://www.instagram.com/p/BemAIZhBS69/?taken-by=liampayne)

_“Zayn! How’s the album coming along!”_

_“Zayn! How’s Gigi?”_

_“Zayn, bro, nice poetry! Are you writing more?”_

 

The cameras flash in his eyes as he strides from Gigi’s building to the black Escalade with dark tinted windows, his head down as he ignores the questions and screams.

 

It’s the same every day he decides to leave the apartment, cameras waiting for them to leave, he’s surprised anyone in the building manages to want to stay there when their front door is always crowded with people antsy to watch Zayn leave the place.

 

It’s crazy, he thinks, how much money these people make just by taking his picture, and in all honesty, it’s days like today when he just wants to flip off the cameras and get to his car, just so they can’t sell his image.

 

He doesn’t, though, and he slides into the familiar car with an unfamiliar driver, his assistant sliding in beside him.

 

“I picked up your mail this morning,” she says, carding through envelopes, many of them fan mail that managed to find where to send it to. He watches as she goes through the envelopes, and an all to familiar shimmer of gold catches his eye on one of the envelopes.

 

Almost like she’s reading his mind, she hands him that one as she continues sorting through.

 

Zayn cant help the smile and chuckle to himself. _He’s here_.

 

The thick, card stock envelope is decorated with two letters in fancy golden calligraphy, his initials, just as the others had been the last time he was in New York City, or even LA at times. It had become their thing.

 

Zayn opens the envelope carefully, and inside is a hotel key card, along with a letter written on the hotels stationary.

 

_I’m in the city. Thought you might like to meet up. Meet me tonight at 10. I’m in the penthouse._

_I’ve been dying to see you._

_Yours always,_

_LP xx_

 

Zayn huffs out a breathy laugh, and cards his fingers through his hair. He shouldn’t even be thinking of going, especially considering what happened last time they were together.

 

Zayn had left the room angry after he’d been pestered with questions on why he even would go home to Gigi but still come to him without question. Did she make him feel the same way _he_ made him feel? He would be happy if they were together.

 

_“It’s not that easy,”_ he’d hissed at an all too familiar face. _“You— you have a kid. And I’m_ happy _with my life the way it is. I’ve been with her two years and— and you gave up on me first. You should have never gotten with her and... and you’re still with her. I just can’t do this.”_

 

He’d stormed out of that room quickly, not even thinking to turn back.

 

It’s been about five months with no contact other than him tweeting Zayn for his birthday, which he deliberately ignored, and word of him bring up Zayn in interviews without being asked.

 

He was trying to get Zayn’s attention, and Zayn pushed that to the side as much as he could.

 

Zayn blinks at his thoughts, not paying attention when the car comes to a stop at the studio. “We’re here, Zayn,” his assistant says before the door opens for him to make his second walk for the Paparazzi of the day. He keeps the envelope in his hands, making sure to shield the lettering from the cameras view.

 

 

He seriously can’t be considering going. Recording had gone well, his album was coming along nicely. The release had been long overdue, but due to personal reasons, he’d pushed back the date. He just wasn’t ready.

 

The singles he’d released during 2017 was just a taste, but now he was ready for a more personal touch.

 

But he’d been done recording and was leaning against a balcony, taking a drag of a cigarette as he waits for his car.

 

It was 9, and the hotel was a thirty minute drive from the studio. Not that Zayn looked it up or anything.

 

But he seriously was not thinking straight if he was considering going.

 

Liam was his weakness, though. He’d always been from the start. The boy with the Bieber hair at boot camp who’d shyly admitted he straightened it one night after he’d come out of a shower in curls, letting Zayn card his hand through his hair as they talked about Superheroes.

 

The boy who let Zayn kiss him when they were only 17, horsing around one night in their shared hotel room. Liam was quiet after that, and Zayn had felt like he overstepped boundaries until Liam had pinned him against the wall, the kisses turning from playful to needy.

 

The boy who, despite their unfortunate circumstances, calmed him through his anxiety attacks with gentle kisses and cuddles, and maybe more than intimate nights together throughout their five years together as a band.

 

The boy who Zayn fell in love with and had to watch fall in love with Danielle and Sophia.

 

The boy who Zayn was still hopelessly in love with.

 

But it was different now. Liam had a son. An actual baby. And Zayn had been with Gigi for more than two years now. Even though their relationship was clearly going nowhere, he at least still enjoyed her company.

 

And it wasn’t right for them to do this.

 

His driver arrives, and Zayn puts out his cigarette.

 

“To Miss Hadid’s apartment?” The driver asks for confirmation.

 

“No,” Zayn sighs after a moment. “The Plaza hotel.”

 

The driver nods and sets off, taking him to his destination, and making sure to drop him off in a more discreet location than the front.

 

Zayn thanks him, let’s him know that he’ll call if he needs a ride, and sets off inside the hotel.

 

He reaches the elevator, and slides the key card in before pushing the button for the Penthouse.

 

The elevator takes him up quickly, depositing him in a quiet hallway with a grand pair of door at the end of it.

 

Zayn makes his way to the doors, sliding the card in and pushing open the door when the lock lights up green.

 

The room is dark and quiet, the only light coming from the massive windows lining each wall. He reaches for the light switch and makes his way through the suite.

 

It was beautiful and classy, the floors hardwood and excessive crystal chandeliers in different places around the main room.

 

He makes his way through a different set of doors that leads to a hot tub overlooking the city, and to the left, the doors to the master bedroom.

 

The room was more dimly lit than the rest of he penthouse. A massive bed with the covers slightly undone, under a mirrored ceiling.

 

It was beautiful, classy, and very Liam-esque. At least it was now.

 

He remembers the nights he’d spent with Liam in run-down hotel rooms, and when Zayn suggested they spent a bit more money on a better room, Liam would say all he needed to be happy for the night was Zayn.

 

Zayn huffs at the memory, furrowing his eyebrows.

 

I can’t do this, he thinks, carding a hand through his hair.

 

Just as he turns around to walk out, he sees Liam in the doorway of the bedroom.

 

He’s wearing red sweatpants with the fucking Mona Lisa on the leg and stupid red shoes that match his pants. He’s chosen to forgo a shirt though, apparently.

 

“I didn’t think you’d come,” Liam says softly, not moving from his place at the door.

 

Zayn stands awkwardly by the bed, the key card still in his hand. “I didn’t think I would either.”

 

Liam slowly moves closer, until their bodies are inches away from each other, their eyes meeting.

 

Zayn melts in that moment, remembering how soft Liam’s eyes are, how he used to get lost in them even on stage.

 

His eyes drop to Liam’s lips, red and plump. He remembers how they felt on his body, and how no one else kissed like Liam did, always leaving him unsatisfied when he couldn’t have Liam.

 

“I don’t think we should do this,” Zayn says in a quiet whisper, his heart beating all too slowly but loudly in his chest.

 

“I think we should,” Liam says, his hands gripping Zayn’s waist, pulling him against his body.

 

Zayn’s hands are curled against Liam’s bare chest, and licks his lips in anticipation and lust.

 

“This is a bad idea,” Zayn whispers, trying to convince himself.

 

“Mmm that it is,” Liam says, a stupid smirk on his lips.

 

_Fuck this_ , Zayn thinks and presses his lips to Liam’s, and moves his arms around Liam’s neck.

 

The kiss starts slow, but quickly turns hungry. It’s been five whole months.

 

Five months without _this_. And at the moment, Zayn couldn’t think of why he’d ever turn this down.

 

“I missed this,” Liam says between kisses. They shuffle back toward the bed, and Zayn falls on his back while Liam climbs over him. “I missed _you_.”

 

Zayn responds by kissing him harder, licking into Liam’s mouth, and letting out a muffled whine as Liam grinds down against him.

 

They fall back into this so easily. The anger, the resent, the hurt, all gone as they become hungrier for something more.

 

Liam’s hands move down Zayn’s body, nearly tearing open Zayn’s shirt as he tries to unbutton it quickly.

 

Zayn helps him strip off his clothes, wiggling off his jeans and boxers while pinned under Liam.

 

He’s painfully hard, aching for Liam’s touch.

 

“Already hard for me, babe?” Liam says as he takes Zayn’s cock in his hand, thumb grazing over the slit.

 

Zayn whines and pulls Liam into a kiss. Liam who had been barely clothed before and now is wearing all too much.

 

“Get this off,” Zayn huffs, hands tugging at Liam’s sweats.

 

Liam’s pants come off, showing he’d been going about sans underwear. He immediately goes to kiss Zayn’s chest, stroking his cock gently.

 

Zayn bites his lip, tilting his head back, and suddenly becoming all too aware of the mirrors just above them.

 

He feels Liam’s kisses move down his body, and watches through the mirror curiously as Liam takes him into his mouth, lightly sucking at his head and flicking his tongue over his slit, just like he’d found Zayn liked 7 years ago.

 

“Li,” Zayn moans, his hand instinctively going to card through Liam’s hair, and being met with the prickly hairs of his buzzed cut.

 

Liam moves quickly, his other hand coming up to thumb at Zayn’s hole as he worked him through.

 

Zayn’s squirming under Liam, the minimal touch nearly pushing him over the edge. “Li— I’m—“

 

Liam stops, and shakes his head. “Not yet. Need to be inside you,” he says with a kiss to Zayn’s chest, where his fresh tattoo lies.

 

“Is that new? The wolf?” Liam asks.

 

Zayn cant even think to respond with words and only nods.

 

Liam brings his fingers to Zayn’s mouth, and Zayn wraps his lips around them, coating them in saliva for something he can’t wait for.

 

Liam brings that hand down to his ass, and slides the first finger into Zayn slowly. Zayn mewls his cock spilling over his belly with precome.

 

Liam’s finger moves slowly as he adds another digit, and picks up the pace.

 

“Babe,” he huffs desperately. “ _Leeyum_ i need you. Please.”

 

Liam’s fingers slide out of him, and he gingerly kisses Zayn as he lies down beside him, sliding a condom over himself. “Cmon then. Ride it,” Liam says, stroking his cock as he slicks up with lube, eyeing Zayn.

 

Zayn bites his lip, and moves to straddle Liam, his cock sliding against Zayn’s ass. It’d been far too long since they did this.

 

And Zayn wanted it right now more than anything.

 

Zayn held Liam’s prick in place as Liam held his hips. Zayn slowly lowered himself, groaning as he bottomed out, sitting on Liam’s lap.

 

He could see Liam reach for his phone on the side table, and he could hear the quick snap of a photo, facing up, followed by the sound of a video starting.

 

Zayn thew his head back, and could see himself on Liam. He slowly began to ride Liam, watching how he looked in the mirror until he needed to hold onto Liam for balance.

 

He worked himself on Liam faster, and he could feel Liam matching his movements as he thrusted up into Zayn all while he’d been recording through the mirror.

 

“Li, baby, oh fuck,” he moaned obscenely knowing he’d been being recording, wanting to give something to remember. “Oh, _shit_.”

 

“Cmon baby, I’m close,” Liam moaned, still matching his movements.

 

Seconds later Liam’s coming apart inside of Zayn with his name on his lips, while Zayn throws his head back, pumping his hand over his own his cock before it’s spitting out come on Liam’s chest.

 

He slides off Liam, and falls on the bed beside him.

 

Liam, who no longer has the phone in his hand.

 

“You recorded that,” Zayn says out of breath, feeling kind of annoyed Liam didn’t ask first, even though he was glad he did. He kind of wanted to see that back.

 

Liam hums in response, tying up the condom and tossing it across the room to a bin, which thankfully it falls into without fail.

 

“Why?” Zayn asks, his breath still shaky.

 

“It looked hot. And I can’t go 5 months again on just memories.”

 

Zayn bites his lip, and looks over Liam curiously, pushing down the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts going on in his head.

 

“How long are you here for this time?” He asked, reaching out to trace over Liam’s chest with his hand.

 

“Two weeks,” Liam responds. “Doing some promo and a shoot. A couple performances.”

 

Zayn hums as a response.

 

It’s silent for a moment as Liam traces over Zayn’s red wolf tattoo.

 

“What’s it for?” Liam asks.

 

“The comic book character,” he deadpans. “And something else.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Well, a long time ago, i fell in love with someone who’s favorite color was red, even though he insisted it was purple, and he was nicknamed Wolfie by our friends. He’s still close to my heart, I guess. He’ll always be.”

 

Liam eyes him carefully, and pulls away from Zayn and slides off the bed, no reaction.

 

It kind of breaks Zayn a bit.

 

The tattoo was a stupid decision, especially right over his Capricorn tattoo, but he didn’t care at this point. He knew, even though his anger and annoyance at this whole situation, that Liam would always be his first and only real love.

 

Liam’s on the phone in the bathroom, he can hear him clear as day.

 

“Hey babe, just going to bed. Put Bear on, yeah? Beaaar it’s Daddy. I’m going to sleep but I love you. I’ll see you soon, little man.”

 

It goes quiet, and he can hear Liam’s laugh echo in the bathroom.

 

“Of course he understands me, you donut. Alright, I’ll let you two go then. Bye, yeah, love you too.”

 

Zayn feels his eyes tear up, and he slides off the bed, pulling on his boxers and jeans immediately, sliding his shirt on and buttoning it as he walks out of the room, not even thinking to look back when he hears Liam call his name behind him.

 

~*~

 

A week passes, and every day he gets a letter with a golden _LP_ on it just like the first.

 

Zayn reads them, a message just like the last on each one.

 

_Still in New York. Wish I could have more time with you. You know where to go if you want more._

_Yours always,_

_LP xx_

 

He can’t help but think about what a filthy lie that is. The always yours bit. They’d just finished having sex and Liam had gone to call his girlfriend and baby.

 

His _baby_.

 

Zayn was ruining a family by doing this. By getting involved with Liam after all this time.

 

And he needed to stop before it got worse.

 

He shreds Liam’s letters and tosses them in the fireplace when he’s home alone.

 

Gigi’s out in LA for the week for some press thing, leaving him to his thoughts and own company. Just as each night before, Zayn would look through old photo albums his mom left around Christmastime, and write based on his emotions revolving that photo.

 

Today’s album happened to be one from 2010.

 

He looked notably young in each photo. His birthday, a wide grin on his face as he sits at a cake covered in 17 candles. A couple of him at family parties, with his sisters. When he was auditioning.

 

There’s a photo that breaks him once his eyes scan over it.

 

It’s of him and Liam, attached at the hip as they’d always been.

 

Except they were at Zayn’s home in Bradford, on the sofa Zayn would spend hours watching TV on. Liam’s arms are around Zayn for the photo, both of them happy and smiling at the camera.

 

He remembers that weekend. They had a quick break between the filming of the Judges houses and the live shows, and Liam mentioned how his parents wouldn’t be able to come get him so he would be staying at the X-Factor house during the break. Zayn refused to leave him alone and offered him to come home with him.

 

Liam didn’t reject the offer, and was welcomed into the Malik home with open arms.

 

They’d spent their days reading through Zayn’s old comics, wandering Bradford when they were still fairly unknown as the show was yet to air for the season.

 

They’d set up a mattress in Zayn’s room for Liam, but more often than not, Liam ended up on Zayn’s bed. Zayn remembers how it felt the first night Liam was in his bed, the room silent. He could see Liam’s dark, caramel eyes looking back at him, soft curls that had gone un-straightened the whole break falling over his eyes. He remembers his heart, thumping heavily in his chest as Liam inched closer to him, their noses bumping, Liam’s breath on his lips. Zayn was the one who awkwardly pulled away from the situation, not sure if he was reading Liam correctly.

 

He feels tears on his cheeks.

 

It was unfair, the way he felt about Liam, stuck in a never ending cycle of pain and heart ache. He was so sickeningly in love with Liam, and Liam never returned the feeling.

 

Zayn pours himself a glass of liquor, staring at the photo, and letting words escape him into his notepad.

 

Lines of unrequited love, jealousy, and need for the touch.

 

When it was done, he paired it with a dark photo of the sky, not brave enough to post the photo that struck the inspiration.

 

He drowns himself in alcohol and cigarettes for the rest of the night, watching stupid YouTube videos of stupid interviews with a certain stupid man.

 

A stupid man that brings up his name casually when being challenged to bring up a word in his speech. “You know Zayn did this once-“

 

He’d avoided listening to Liam’s more recent songs, especially after so long avoiding him. He didn’t even want to know what Bedroom Floor was about when he clicked on the video, listening to it for the first time, feeling personally attacked by the lyrics.

 

It had to be about them. About their flings. Zayn saying it’s over every time, but giving in when he misses Liam all too much.

 

He shuts the laptop, covering his mouth as soft sobs escape from him, his heart empty and in pain all at once.

 

His dog runs up to him for comfort and he falls asleep on his bedroom floor, ironically, through his tears and heartache.

 

 

The next morning, he’s woken up with a few texts from Liam.

 

It’d been a while since he even directly texted Zayn. It was an unspoken agreement that they had, never to contact each other or discuss their affairs through messages.

 

Zayn reluctantly opens it, finding an attachment of the video Liam had recorded the other night. The night Zayn gave in to the temptation. There’s a message under it.

 

_You look good riding me. Let’s film another before I’m off to Paris x_

 

Zayn’s angry, and feels the tears coming up. He hated this. He was Liam’s booty call. It’s all he was. He wasn’t Liam’s anything. He was just the hookup when his girl wasn’t with him.

 

He blocks Liam’s number, saving the video before erasing the texts.

 

~*~

 

Zayn’s shocked to say the least when he sees the tabloids. Liam’s in Paris for some Fifty Shades press and apparently, he’s back on the market.

 

According to the tabloids, Cheryl left Liam on cheating allegations and will be filing for full custody of their kid. He doesn’t even know if any of it’s real, given it’s a shitty tabloid like The Sun, and they’re known for creating stories. But it all seems too coincidental. Just over two weeks after Liam records them having sex, Cheryl leaves because of cheating.

 

Some tabloids mention Rita and how cosy she and Liam have gotten, and how it frustrated Cheryl to see them that close. There are videos of Liam and Rita's staged kiss attached to the articles.

 

Zayn decides to unblock Liam’s number and messages him.

 

_Saw tabloids. Not sure if they’re true but I’m here for you_.

 

Zayn bites his lip, regretting the decision immediately and tosses his phone to the side.

 

“I’m leaving for Paris,” Gigi says as she heads for the door, dropping her bags for security to take them.

 

“Alright,” he says not moving from his spot.

 

She approaches him. “You can still come if you want. You’re all down and I hate it.”

 

Zayn just shakes his head. “Have fun.”

 

She huffs and kisses his cheek before heading out the door.

 

His phone pings just as she leaves.

 

_Yeah it’s true. iCloud is a menace. She saw the vid. Oh well I guess._

 

Zayn’s heart sinks to his stomach. Cheryl left because of what he and Zayn did. His phone pings again. 

 

_I’m in New York. Can I come over?_

 

He taps a quick _yes_ , regretting it immediately and goes to clean himself up.

 

 

“I just flew in,” Liam says apologetically as he drops a backpack and his luggage near the door. “Didn’t even get to book a room.”

 

Zayn only smiles, his hands in his pockets. He’s beautiful still, and it kills Zayn.

 

“I’m sorry, Zayn. About everything,” Liam says, hands in his pockets as well, mirroring Zayn’s.

 

“About what? That she saw it, or that you kept using me?” His words are harsh on his tongue,

 

Liam looks at him with furrowed eyebrows, anger clearly coming over him.

 

“What was that?” Liam demands.

 

“Are you sorry you got caught or are you sorry you’ve been using me?” Zayn reiterates, his nails digging into his own palms from trying to remain calm.

 

Liam moves up to him, nearly chest to chest like the night in Liam’s hotel room, except lust is replaced by anger.

 

“You think I’ve been using you?” Liam asked through his teeth. “You think what we had was just me _using_ you? _”_

 

_“_ Don’t even start, Liam. Don’t pretend that it was more for you. Every time we fucked, you immediately went o go call your girlfriend. Back when you were with Danielle, with Sophia, and now. For fucks sake, the last time you even had a chat with your son. So don’t come to me, telling me that this meant just as much for you as it did for me.”

 

Liam’s looking at him infuriated, before asking, “So what did it mean for you, huh? What did all of this mean for you?”

 

Zayn steps back with a sarcastic laugh. “You don’t know? Really, Liam?” He walks back away from the door to his room.

 

Liam follows him, grabbing his wrist once in the room, turning him around. “I need you to say it,” he nearly snarls.

 

Zayn pushes away from him, trying his hardest to withhold the tears.

 

“I fucking love you, you idiot,” he says, stumbling back even more. “I tell you that every time we’re together. Every time we have one of our little nights, I mention it. I got a fucking tattoo for you. Not just one either. You are on my chest, my leg, my hand, my arm. I spend my time thinking about you when I’m not with you and it fucking hurts. I’ve told you I’d be yours if you let me. But you always find someone better for your heart, and use me for the sex.”

 

Zayn’s cheeks are stained with tears, and he doesn’t even bother to wipe them away.

 

“You think I don’t love you, Zayn?” He asks impatiently. “You think this is all some game to me? Because it’s not. I could hook up with anyone I want, Zee. But I don’t. The only one I have eyes for is you. No girlfriend has ever changed that for me.”

 

“Then why? Why bother? You were about to propose to Sophia. You left her and you had me. Then you got with Cheryl immediately once I left for LA. I wasn’t in the band but i wasn’t fucking gone, Liam.” Zayn sat at the edge of his bed. “I’m tired of waiting for you to catch up with me. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of being your second choice. It’s been eight fucking years that I’ve been in love with you. And just when I think I have you, you’re gone.”

 

Liam spins, pacing back to the door, and then again back to Zayn, so he’s standing just in front of him, looking down at him. “That isn’t fair. You _were_ engaged and—“

 

“But I told you! I would leave her for you in a heartbeat the minute you asked me to. And you knew our circumstance.”

 

“ _Let me finish_." He snaps. "You were _engaged_ , Zayn. And when you left, it hurt more than anything. Even if we kept talking, I didn’t have you. I had my worst anxiety attack one night when you didn’t call. Cancelled a whole show cause of it. I was so desperately in love with you and I needed your voice to soothe me like you did every night. But you didn’t. I loved you and needed you from the start. You were my best friend before I even considered the others even friends and— and we were supposed to be in it together. Just you and me. And then obviously, but you and I were supposed to stick it out. When you left I knew you did what you had to. But then you stopped calling bit by bit. And you were busy on your own career. You didn’t even call me when you had your performance anxiety—I had to read about. So when it ended with Soph, even if I’d seen you during that time, I didn’t have you. I didn’t have you at all.

 

“So don’t you dare come here with the whole I don’t know how you felt. Because I sure as hell do know, Zayn. I’ve loved you for so long, I would choose you over anyone if you gave me the chance.”

 

Zayn’s quiet, his mouth agape as he eyes Liam through his wet eyelashes. He can’t even respond, he’s speechless when his phone pings.

 

It’s from Gigi.

 

The video’s attached.

 

_Lol I don’t want your shit in my apartment when I come back from Paris. Tell your co-star I say hi. I know he’s there._

 

Zayn shuts his eyes and rubs his temples.

 

“What’s that?” Liam asks.

 

“Well, apparently your baby mama likes to share videos with my now apparently Ex,” Zayn huffs. “I’ve gotta be out of here by the time she comes home from Paris.”

 

Liam nods quietly. “I’m sorry I filmed it.”

 

Zayn just stares at him with puffy eyes, and walks up to him, pulling him in by the collar of his jacket, and kissing him harshly.

 

“Fuck you,” he says against Liam’s lips before resting his forehead against the other boy’s.

 

“If only we’d gotten our shit together from the start,” Liam mumbles.

 

Zayn looks at him, and rubs the nape of his neck. “Then let’s get it right now.” He swallows nervously, searching Liam’s eyes.

 

“What do you mean?” Liam asks, confused.

 

“I said let’s get it right now. Let’s- let’s try this. You and me. Let’s stop being idiots and get it right.”

 

Liam’s quiet before he kisses Zayn soft and slowly in the middle of the room.

 

“Just— one thing. Don’t upload your videos to iCloud you idiot,” Zayn says against Liam’s lips. Liam only laughs and kisses him again, moving him to the bed.

 

 

That night, after all the sex they’d had throughout the apartment, Zayn decides to text his assistant to let her know to send movers to Gigi’s place tomorrow for his things and to have them sent to his Bel Air place.

 

Liam wraps his arms around Zayn’s waist as he does so, chin hooked over his shoulder.

 

“I’m still sorry I recorded that without asking,” he says near Zayn’s ear.

 

“Don’t be. I think it worked in our favor I guess,” Zayn laughs. “I’m sorry about the whole custody thing though.”

 

Liam sighs. “I don’t wanna think about it, honestly. Right now, I just want you.”

 

Zayn hums, and pushes back against Liam. “Do you wanna see some photos of us I found in an old family album?” He asks.

 

Liam groans. “You have some here?”

 

“Mmmhm and you should see your hair,” Zayn laughs.

 

Liam groans, but follows him to look through their memories.

 

And maybe it wasn’t so bad. While their lives seemingly fell apart around them, he and Liam still had each other. And they were the only ones who mattered from the start.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I know it was a bit odd, but I hope you all enjoyed it! I'm considering writing a companion piece, probably fluff, about their life after this all... maybe...
> 
> Please comment or leave Kudos, seriously it means the world to hear your feedback! As a fairly insecure writer, it helps a lot to know what people like and what I should change up.
> 
> All the love x


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